How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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