I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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