Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's never too late to be topless.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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