Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
