I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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