I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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