So drunk its hurt
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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