Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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