I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
