Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
