yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
