the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
P.S. I can't hear my feet
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
