hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
