Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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