Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
