God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
