I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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