I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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