Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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