If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
