Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
