I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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