he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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