Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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