dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
