I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
