i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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