we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
