OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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