Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
