I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
