Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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