your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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