Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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