the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
