Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
