i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
