I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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