Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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