yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
