So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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