WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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