sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
