super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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