I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
