Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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