Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize