Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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