They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
