Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
