Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
