So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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