As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
