I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
