I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
