did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
