As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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