Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
