He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
