Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
