my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Boobs are out for the taking
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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