Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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