yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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