This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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