Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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