Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
