went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
