I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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